As I grow older I am probably turning into my mother, my aunts and many other elderly female relatives who badgered me in childhood about the importance of being polite. The very fact that I'm blogging about it points to my being from a different generation and planet. Why be nice and gentle when a sharp retort can be so much funnier?
I teach at a high school. Everyday at work, I hear countless students being very rude and nasty to each other. Or so it seems to me. Once, a girl took pity on my shocked face and explained "I'm only nasty to people I like". Call me crazy, but being called 'stone cold ho' does seem somewhat harsh. Even between friends.
We all face days when we feel less than charitable towards our fellow beings. I've been guilty of many sharp comments that I've later regretted uttering with all my heart. But this is not about those days. This is about the celebration that seems to be going on of rudeness passing for wit, of condescension and belittling passing for a show of affection. When did this happen? Whatever happened to saying nothing if one had nothing nice to say?
It is not only at school that I find bad behavior. I find it in appalling TV shows, the entire reality tv genre, partisan reporting in all forms of media. Regardless of how volatile the topic is, a certain dignity of approach and refined vocabulary, in my view, adds to the flavor of the argument or exchange. I mean, come on, why settle for 'your mom' replies when there is an entire family tree to choose from? I for one plan to say 'your great-uncle's cousin, three times removed', the next time someone asks me who picked out my outfit. Or maybe I'll just smile and let it pass.
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